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This kindness bleeds into your other relationships. Being a single mom means that you have been through at least three life-altering experiences.

Forgive the friends and in-laws who you felt deserted you.

Nevertheless, I now find myself carefully navigating the emotionally and logistically tricky world that is dating on Tinder. And then, as I'm drafting a subtly suggestive reply, my son waddles back in and climbs into bed beside me.

I know it's generally considered a hook-up app, but it's perfect for time-strapped moms who can't waste hours setting up a Match or e Harmony profile. Late night..." I text back, trying to sound flirtatious. And I realize, for tonight at least, he'll be the only guy between my sheets.

We only ever meet at his bachelor pad, never at my house. Ultimately, I don't feel that pressure to settle or compromise, especially not with a man who views my children as an inconvenience.

Then I stop myself, the guilt rising: I'm not giving my children the time and attention they deserve. When I was married, my future was mapped out for me.

I could picture what it would look like in 10, 20, even 30 years' time. And with my sons, I also feel safe in the knowledge that I'll always have two wonderful men by my side.

I start messaging Rob (not his real name, but a guy I have mutual friends with and have fancied for years), and after taking my youngest for his like-clockwork 1 a.m. On both occasions, I dart to the bathroom and frantically whisper-call my brilliantly ruthless babysitter, Laura, so that when I get back to the table, I just happen to get a text from her about an "emergency" requiring my immediate departure. As usual, I start the date by telling him I have two sons, even throwing in some funny anecdotes. The boys are at their dad's, but evidence of them is everywhere: pictures on walls, toys scattered on the floor.

I make a mental note to exercise more quality control before agreeing to meet — at an hour for a babysitter, these failed dates are proving to be expensive. As we sit down and lean into a kiss, the disembodied voice of Thomas the Tank Engine informs us from behind a cushion that he is a really useful engine.

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