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The flats they lived in were far from campus areas — dingy, poorly ventilated and the entrance was almost always at the back.

I never saw where Bryan lived — he told me he was sure to be evicted if he brought an Indian girl home.

He displayed incredible patience and grace during our time together, as he firmly unpacked my fears (“not all of us are drug dealers”), and taught me to dance with my hips a little more (“use your booty”). ” I shook my head and told him that I hadn’t gone for a test yet. I realised that he had never met my friends, because I had never thought of introducing him to them.

And unlike Priyanka Chopra’s character in Fashion, I experienced no self-loathing the morning after. I thought it was because this was due to end soon, but that was not true, was it?

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.” Toni Morrison, Beloved The year I discovered the works of Toni Morrison and Chinua Achebe is the year I met Bryan Ochieng.

It was the summer of 2005, right in the middle of Delhi University’s annual break.

Where nothing is known about your thriving film industry, your music; where your cuisine smells different, so it must make you a cannibal. For the middle and upper classes in India, a certain kind of Blackness is acceptable to us — the hip-hop/rap group or artiste, the Premier League footballer, Barack Obama, Idris Elba for James Bond — you get the drift.

It was heady in the beginning, to be treated as an exotic being, and to be so close to a culture I had only seen in films — wine any time of the day, elaborate meals, and French kissing (delightful at first, but quite taxing after a point).

When he showed me pictures of his family home in rural France, I imagined a life there with our mocha-latte son, Zizou.

It would take me some more years to realise how damaging that adage is, because it bolsters the perception that Black male sexuality is threatening to other men, that it is something mythic and magical like voodoo.

And, if I continued to say that, there wouldn’t be much of a difference between me and the Punjabi man in the nightclub.




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